Pushing The Grind

I am saying it now, come Saturday I am getting out of Luzern. I don’t care if I end up in Basel or Sorenberg, all I know is I won’t be going into work. I put in a little over twelve hours today prepping for tomorrow’s timed run-through of The Bake-Off (like a mock Bake-Off). I am in bed typing this now, and plan on blogging until the sleeping pills kick in. I have to be back to work at five-thirty tomorrow morning and will be baking until five-thirty in the evening. No clue where I am going to find the energy to do it though, I feel beat and worn-out and in need of a weekend somewhere warm and filled with snuggles. The only good thing about being this broken? I have no energy to even be scared/anxious/worried about tomorrow. At this point, all I can do is my best and be thankful that tomorrow is just a run-through and not the real deal. Thank God for that.

The only thing getting me through all this bullshit is time (and a lot of love and support from back home). No matter how long some days seem to go, time keeps pushing me forward, even when it feels like I am cemented in place. In a month’s time Skipper will be here, two days after she arrives Dr. Sylvia and Chef Doug get in to town, a day after that is The Bake-Off, a month after that I can tell my Boss’ to fuck themselves and will no longer be an apprentice, then I am off to Basel, then MFP arrives and we embark on the blog’s European Extravaganza (Vienna, Prague, and Budapest), and then a couple days later I fly back to California. And that’s all in the next three months.

I can’t wait to have a life again. I can’t wait to be able to write about something other then work and The Bake-Off. I can’t wait to just live! To have a good day, to have a day off, to be able to laugh.

I live a good life, I have a lot to be thankful for, and I have a lot of love coming at me from all over the world. Sometimes I just got to remind myself of those three things and that I have no reason to bitch and moan as much as I do.