Bidding Time

It's been a little over a week now since I gave up weed, and as much as I would LOVE to tell you how great and fresh I feel, I can't. It's been fine, and surprisingly I am still alive and so are my co-workers, but the upsides of sobriety definitely don't out-weigh the downsides. Whether it's the techno-color dreams, swells of emotions, surplus energy, sleeplessness, lack of appetite and just over all feeling that I broke-off a pretty good relationship with an ever so mellow lover before it ever got bad. I know that I am doing the mature thing, I know that in order to make the most of my time leading up to The Bake-Off that it is necessary, but time moves a lot slower without the help of Cush. Go ahead and pass judgment, I almost couldn't care, weed has helped me get through the bullshit and frustration of my apprenticeship and giving it up right when things have started to get stressful makes the breakup only harder.

I skipped P.E. today and got an iced latte and walked around in the sun shine before subjecting myself to the monotony of school. We took some practice exams, some of which I passed and some of which I didn't, but as our exams draw near I begin to realize that all I can do is my best, and more then that just isn't going to happen. I didn't come here to learn economics, politics and laws in German, shit, I don't even know how well I would be able to do if it was in English, let alone a language I can barely write in. My politics teacher just stood next to me and laughed while I attempted to take the test, I didn't hold it against him this time, I could only laugh with him. The fact that I conned my way this far is pretty cool, now I just have to hope that I can keep it up for a couple more weeks and I am one step closer to gold.

I am trying to not dread going into work tomorrow, but I have the feeling that I am going to be walking into a war and I'm going to be treated as the enemy. I came to the conclusion that The Wall is what I make it, and therefore I am the only one who can take it down. My goal is to walk into work tomorrow and just work, if someone has beef then they are going to be greeted with a smile and patience. I get the feeling that the only way I am going to make it through these next six weeks is to suck it up and do my best, regardless of how much my co-workers want to fuck with me. By the end of July I will be free of the chains that have bound me to my cock-sucker of a boss and his heinous bitch of a daughter. All I got to do is keep moving forward and time will take care of the rest, or so I am hoping.

Ok, I am going to end this now, my last three posts have been ultra long and I need to make some tuna salad for lunch tomorrow.