My Bad Hip

I have been experiencing my yearly dose of Fall hip pain. In honor of said pain, and in honor of the fact that this is a new blog, I am going to re-post from my MySpace blog. Sorry for those of you who have already read this!


Camp

No one ever believes me, but I have a hip problem.

Yes, I have a hip problem. Every single Fall is acts up and it's really painful. And every time I complain about it people laugh at me.

It all started when I went to D.A.R.E. "Star" summer camp the summer after 6th grad. Yes, D.A.R.E., "To Keep Kids of Drugs" summer camp. Even I hated me.

My sister and I weren't "summer camp" kids. We spent our summers in Europe or at the PCC swimming pool. So when I won an essay contest about "Why I Will Never Take Drugs,.. you could say I wasn't thrilled about the prize.

I begged my mom not to make me go. I hated being forced to hangout with other kids and not sleeping in my won bed. Even typing this right now, my chest tightens. I fucking hated the idea of having to go and for two weeks before, I would lay in bed just dreading it. And it's funny because there was another kid who had also ..won.. the essay contest and he would later be kicked out of his high school for trying to strangle another student with a telephone cord in class.

Anyway, I got on that forsaken bus and went to ..camp... It was a Boy Scouts camping ground. We brought our own tents and ate in a cafeteria. It was four days, and I was homesick the whole time. I remember that I started keeping my first book out of the misery that I felt there. It blew.

So, one day we are ..allowed.. to swim in their tragic cement hole that they called a pool. I jump in and swim a couple laps when I feel a ..click.. in my right hip. I swam to the side and got out and was in an insane amount of pain. I went to the camp doctor, who wasn't a doctor and they said they didn't know what was wrong, and so I had to sit out all the physical activities. Now I have never been the sporty type. I just don't get it. I don't know why you would want to go running when you can just take diet pills. Seriously. Beach Volleyball, Soccer, Tennis, Basketball, all spell EMBARRASSMENT to me. But at the same time, who wants to be the sick kid at camp?

Sure enough on the last night of camp there was a big Capture the Flag game the encompassed the whole camp, and each team had to go and find where the other team had hidden the flag on their side of the camp.
I sat on the bench between both sides with the rest of the cripples and losers. On that bench I thought to myself, ..if this is what not taking drugs gets you, I wonder what TAKING drugs must be like...

Every Fall I get the most wretched pain in my hip and I think about the embarrassment and humiliation and the loneliness of that god forsaken camp.

I got the pain for the first time today at work. I came home and smoked some weed and the pain went away. That's what D.A.R.E. camp gave me.