Shine On

I had a really shitty day to day, so I am trying to salvage it with some Birchermuseli with strawberries and bananas, and listening to The Kook's new CD. It sometimes helps to bring a happy thought to fruition after a bad day.

Now that Easter has passed I am on the fast-track to my exams and going home. There is a lot I have to accomplish between now and the end of August, and I am having a hard time seeing how I am going to get everything done, with style no less. My days are currently filled practicing different recipes that I am going to have to make for my practical exam: caramel, candies, cakes, different chocolates, truffles, cookies, nougat, pastries, and sandwiches. Things have been going really well and everything has been coming out the way it should, until today. Today sucked. The caramel burned, the chocolate was streaky, egg whites were too cold and shocked the sugar in to clumps, I got burned by the nougat; it just didn't go well. I've been really trying hard to think positive lately, seeing how I think it's the only way I am going to get through these next few months, but today was one of those days I just wanted to come home and cry for an hour. No tears came though, and I spent the rest of the evening cleaning, doing laundry and cooking, and I feel a lot better now.

Skipper said something to me on the phone yesterday that at first I took wrong. She said,"California is not going to know what to do with you." I don't know why, but thinking about her saying that makes me smile, sitting here in my desk chair. I have absolutely no idea where I am going to be in the next couple months and although it scares the shit out of me, it feels beyond awesome to know that it will be five years later. I am enjoying the brief feeling of comfort, amid chaos.

Tonight's highlight:

"When I think now how worried I was on what little I knowed, now when I know the rest of it, it dont seem like I had anything to worry me at all. All day I have been thinking how easy it would be if I could just turn back to yesterday and not have any more to worry me than I had then."

Light In August, William Faulkner
(pink highlight: thin line, five dots, one large star)